This awakening I feel seems to happen in waves. And what I mean by “awakening” is simply just finding more information, more context, more strength, more tools to work with in this life experience.
These waves have been occurring for quite some time now, and possibly longer than I can recall. I guess if it’s truly happening as Eckhart Tolle refers to in his beautiful book, “The Power Of Now”, everything happens in waves; our creativity, our moods, our growth, our relationships, etc.
I really started to notice these waves in the last few months. The more I pay attention, the more obvious they become, and the more I can allow them to pass through me as opposed to struggling against them. With that said, I am still no pro at this, but it is certainly a goal of mine. Let me explain by using a few examples:
1. Creativity- There are days, like today, that I feel connected, tuned in, and on fire from within. Creating becomes a smooth flow of energy that seems so familiar yet I was missing it so deeply the days prior. Paintings seem to come through me as though they were just waiting patiently on my internal shelf for me to finally choose to allow them to come out and play. And other times it will be words that flow from my fingertips like a programmed typewriter just relaying information. Ideas come and go and I am not held back by fear in any way. When this flow of creativity is off… it is OFF.
2. Relationships- The energy of these waves affects relationships in the same way that it affects creativity. When it’s on, it allows the mind to let go and express freely. I feel connected to the world around me and the individuals that I share experiences with as well. I feel that I can speak my mind without fearing being judged and I am open to new concepts as well as allowing my ideas to be challenged with little or no defense on my part. Again, when it’s off… well, let’s just say, I guard my thoughts, ideas and feelings with fear of rejection, fear of judgment, etc., and conversations and communication don’t go as smoothly as they could.
3. Personal Confidence- This is a BIG one. My personal confidence seemed to be all over the place, in a way many individuals might wrongly label as “Bipolar”, until I began paying close attention. I found that as months passed, and I remained mindful and in touch with myself, although I did not stop the waves, I began to understand them. There are chunks of days that I feel absolutely useless to the world, creatively, spiritually, relationally, physically, intellectually, you name it.
And when I am connected and the wave is coming on the upswing, I feel more confident, more capable, and more ambitious. This is beginning to grow with each time it comes around, and it’s making for quite an interesting and fulfilling experience.
So, what does all of this mean? Well, for one, just acknowledging this concept has inspired a great deal of curiosity toward the observation of my moods and thoughts. The observation overtime has allowed me to look lightly upon my not so great moods, and embrace the power of my inner alignment, when it does come around. I see these waves as opportunities that keep coming around and may continue to come around for the duration of my life. The off-times are opportunities to relax, refuel, read, learn, walk, breathe, self-reflect. And the on-times are opportunities to create, express, share, declare, expand, push personal boundaries. Without this polarity, I would either be closed off & depressed, or extremely over-exerted and exhausted. They keep life in balance, they keep us growing, but remind us to slow down, be present, and put things into perspective.
The busier life is, and the more out of whack things are for you, the more difficult it may be to notice these waves. And to be completely honest, that may be because you are in a constant off-line wave. I think that it is very likely that I only began to realize these “waves” more recently, because the on-line wave might be a new thing for me… It may have never been there before. And who knows, I may reach a point in life when I am on a constant on-line, awesome-feeling, in touch and on fire wave! All I can do, and all you can do is to pay close attention to your energy levels, your feelings of confidence, creativity, fulfillment, and contribution, as well as acknowledge your insecurities, doubts, fears, and begin to mentally or even physically track them. The more you observe, the more you can try to shift gears into the direction you want to be in, as well as allow these waves to flow over you just as they intend to do.
Observe, record, and trust the waves of your individual life.